Where to start on being a father to a child who is autistic...
Distorted Visions
Once I found out I was going to become a dad, I had visions of what type of father I wanted to be — and that vision, over the years, has been massively distorted. Looking back, my vision of fatherhood was a selfish one, and autism has no room for selfishness. It’s all-
- demanding
- and tiring
- hectic
- and beautiful.
Bringing You to Your Knees
There are days when it will make you feel like you are not cut out for it, that you're not good enough, and it will bring you to your knees, desperately seeking a miracle.
Balancing Acts
As a father, the stresses of trying to be
- a provider
- a protector
- and still function in the outside world of work
While you are consumed with worry of what ifs and what next... trying to momentarily switch that off, smile, and function in a work setting can be draining, emotionally and physically.
Autism has, and will be, the hardest challenge I've ever faced in my life — and I'll struggle forever with the challenges it presents.
Celebrating Little Victories
It’s hard to offer advice at this stage in my journey, but if I did, it would be to celebrate the little victories, as autism is hard, but it’s also beautiful.
"I feel it’s teaching me to be a better person".
Editor’s note: This story reflects one dad’s personal experience of parenting a child with complex needs, including autism. While the word “autism” is used throughout, we recognise that for many families the challenges often lie not in autism itself, but in navigating a world that isn’t designed for children with complex or high support needs.
To Every Dad Who's in the Thick of It:
You’re not alone.
We know many fathers feel the weight of being strong for everyone, while carrying fears, love, and exhaustion that few people see.
This story reflects what so many dads have told us: that autism, disability, and caring roles can challenge everything you thought fatherhood would be — and also reshape it into something deeper.
If you’re a dad, grandad, stepdad or male carer walking this path, there’s support for you too.